Humans have worshipped the bee and given it pride of place in our pantheons of gods and goddesses, in popular songs, sayings, artworks and products. Bees are hard not to love, for everything they do to bring life to the world. Especially true these days with our rare and wee friends dying off at alarming rates because of pesticides and pollutants and invasive species, it’s hard not to feel sad about the precious bee, the life giver to other plants and animals.

“Busy as a bee” is a phrase we’ve all heard, but bees are more than simply hard working. Bees literally create life and allow seasonal flowering of countless plants, trees and even crops. Bees are also amazing communicators, using scent and their own bodies to signal very specific things to keep the pollen coming to the hive day after day. Bees even help the Trappist monks stay in the mead, which as any Trappist monk might tell you, is a tremendously good thing.

The bee has been a profound symbol of healing power and life since ancient times. From Wikipedia:

“According to Greek mythology, perhaps reflecting Minoan culture, making her the daughter of a Cretan king Melisseus, whose -issos ending is Pre-Greek, Melissa was a nymph who discovered and taught the use of honey and from whom bees were believed to have received their name. She was one of the nymph nurses of Zeus, sister to Amaltheia, but rather than feeding the baby milk, Melissa, appropriately for her name, fed him honey. Or, alternatively, the bees brought honey straight to his mouth. Because of her, Melissa became the name of all the nymphs who cared for the patriarch god as a baby.^”

Bees have been associated with the gods and goddesses across cultures, from the Mayans to Hindu mythology to the Greeks and Romans. One of the Mayan gods of bees and honey was called Ah-Muzen-Cab, “The Diving God”, and is depicted flying upside down. In Egyptian mythology, “bees grew from the tears of the sun god Ra when they landed on the desert sand.” And in Hindu mythology, “the bowstring on Hindu love god Kamadeva‘s bow is made of sugarcane, covered in bees.”

Mankind has worshipped the powerful and life-giving bee for thousands of years. As far back as there are pictures and stories you will find bees bringing life to mankind from the gods, or as gods themselves.

These days, too few people think about the importance of the bee. In the power they hold over the human story. In the way we see ourselves and our world in the small and mighty bee. It’s been this way for thousands of years. Our best qualities we see in the bee, industriousness, reliability, teamwork, working daily to provide for the winter, spreading the seeds that makes success, and the world, possible.

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What to wear at work in 2019? The experts weigh in.

As Dylan said, “the times they are a’ changin’”. That goes for what to wear to work, too. When it comes to work dress, fashions come and go, and what was old is new again, from wide lapels and flared pants, to longer skirts to shorter skirts. Trends of fashion may change from year to year or decade to decade, but there is a real debate raging online and in the street about what’s appropriate to wear to work: is it still the traditional work uniform, the heels and dark power suits, or something less formal? How less formal? Could onesies to work really be a thing soon?

The Guardian has written a few thousand words recently about the shifting trends in work wear, which is having an affect on fashion design itself. When we start seeing politicians and business influencers at work in boho leisurewear, scuffed sneakers, scruffy beards, and worn jeans, looking more like dressed-down Silicon Valley start-up CEOs or my unemployed brother-in-law on a Tuesday, it begs the question, what can you wear to work? What should you wear?

Many organizations have their dress codes styled from the familiar, button-down past from Monday to Thursday, throwing in a casual Friday to loosen things up. Casual Friday usually means no tie, maybe jeans (if they look new or expensive), and a blazer. Open collars and jeans are supposed to be a freeing experience, showing staff the company knows how to relax (a bit), but there is still a Friday code, which doesn’t really scream personal freedom or self expression. And what are clothes if not a way we express ourselves as people? Some would rather never wear a tie or put on a business dress or high heels. Most people want to wear what makes them feel comfortable while looking good. But what is acceptable?

What if you showed up in a Yeezy workwear jumpsuit and sneakers without the laces? Some might applaud your forward fashion choices, while others might wonder why you didn’t get dressed for work. Wearing brand track pants and Adidas could be more acceptable in Los Angeles working in IT or entertainment than it would be working at a bank in Bonn or on Bond Street. So, does it really boil down to your industry and what’s still acceptable or not acceptable inside the four walls of tradition? How do you wear what you like while still respecting your company culture and the people you work with?

In the end you might be at the mercy of the corporate direction on workwear 9-5, but that shouldn’t stop you from finding ways to be comfortable in your own clothes at work. In the way not having a cell phone is a sign of “arrival” (some famous celebrities have eschewed owning a phone as a sign of their status), dressing down for work seems to be a sign of the times we might just have to get more comfortable with.

The Guardian, interviewing fashion influencer, Dan Rookwood, put it this way: “Dan Rookwood, formerly US editor of the menswear site Mr Porter, was once rarely seen without at least eight items of exquisite tailoring. He has recently taken a job as creative director at Nike, moved from New York to Portland, and adjusted his attire accordingly. ‘I now have the best wardrobe I’ve ever had – a proper walk-in wardrobe, where I can see all my clothes,’ he says. ‘But what it shows me is that I can’t wear the vast majority of it anymore. It’s all made-to-measure suits and shirts and ties and bench-made shoes that I just can’t see myself wearing outside the occasional wedding as the winds of style have changed. It’s like a museum.’

“Rookwood notes that the shift away from formal is industry wide. ‘Men’s fashion changes more slowly than women’s fashion. But if you look at what men were wearing in 2014 compared to 2019, it is markedly different. This is a big change. We’re just not as buttoned up as we were.’ The emphasis has moved from fine tailoring to luxury streetwear; from Milan and London to New York and Los Angeles; from Don Draper on the front of GQ to Kanye West on the sneaker site Highsnobiety. While in the past, a woven silk tie from Brioni sent a subtle cue about status, now it’s more likely to be limited-edition Yeezys. There is a whole new set of rules to fall foul of – as the billion-heir Kendall Roy discovers in the HBO TV series Succession when he fails to impress some prospective clients by wearing a pair of Lanvin calfskin sneakers to a meeting.”

Compared to previous generations, today’s careerists grew up with hip-hop, Missy Elliott, The Beastie Boys, grunge and other culture statements and street styles that have now come so far into the mainstream in ways that might make Brooks Brothers choke on a wingtip. Still, showing up to work in your pajamas might be a clothing choice too far, at least for now. But who knows what 2021 holds as the gig and freelance economy ramps up? When you don’t have to “go to work” to be at work, is there any fashion off limits? I would say yes, but I digress.

When it comes to work clothes for 2019, Pinterest puts together a list of search terms for major trends called the Pinterest 100 report, a kind of forecast of what people will be wearing based on search terms on the platform. Check it out, along with ways to shop for anything that strikes your fancy. Statement sneakers are in, along with snakeskin prints and bamboo bags. Who knows? You might start a new trend at work. Still, you might want to check with your boss before you wear Balenciaga’s Triple S sneakers to your next new business or board meeting. Unless the boss is wearing a pair.

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Somehow there exists this idea that leadership is about telling other people what to do. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Great leaders can motivate with their words, no doubt. There are easy examples that come to mind, from Michelle Obama to Vince Lombardi. Take your pick. We all have our idols and favorites. But do we idolize and favor them so much for what they say, or do we actually love them because of what they do, and what they do with the words they choose?

When I coach business leaders and people climbing in their career and looking for direction, there is a lot of two-way communicating going on. We talk a lot about aspirations, how they feel about where they are today, why they might feel stuck or unsure of what to do next. It’s a process. But a big part of that process is also showing the way, not just describing the path to their goals, whatever they may be. Mostly people come to me not sure of the next leg of the journey. Some of these people are long-time high achievers, who feel unsatisfied. Sometimes these are people starting their careers who lack the knowledge to know what the options are. After all of the conversations, and all of the advice I give based on my experience, I still feel the most valuable thing I do and achieve for anyone is to show them the way to the next step. Telling someone how to do something is so much less impactful to that person than showing them the way. How do I do that?

First, I really listen to the words, and not just the words, but the feelings behind them. I have become good at reading between the lines of what people mean when they say certain things. I dig in. I ask further questions about what’s really important to them, what they feel they’re missing, and what they really want to achieve for themselves. I take all of that away and develop a plan for them; it’s not a plan on paper, it’s not even a map of directions. It’s me finding ways to help facilitate their goals and help them actually achieve the satisfaction or the direction they lack on their own. I walk the journey with them, from signpost to signpost. We test the weather together. We walk through the rain and enjoy the sunlight together, so to speak, in walking by steps into a new future. It’s difficult for people to make any decision alone. Being an ear, an experienced voice, a person who has been there herself, I don’t ever simply give “advice”, because who am I to condescend to anyone about their life. But I do try to give myself as an example to people I coach, as someone who knows what it’s like to struggle for answers, who also keeps learning, who also has hopes and dreams and fears. I create a safe place for deep conversations, and I inspire, at least I hope and try to inspire this way, through my own actions and my own way of working and being in the world, which has also been a work in progress. Just like everyone else.

Ultimately, leadership to me is showing rather than telling. When Vince Lombardi brandished his newspaper roll under a fedora to inspire his team with words, his words were actually the underpinning, the text, of his actions and the inspiring way he led. Michelle Obama, exactly the same. We admire and love her not just for what she says, but more importantly, for how she acts, and how she involves us in the journey towards being our best.

In leadership, show, don’t tell, is my motto. It’s the best way to pass knowledge that sticks. Be true. Don’t just say it. Be ethical. Don’t just use the words. Words are words. How you are tells the story. Show, don’t tell.

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Everybody wanna get rich right away
Right away, right away, right away
Everybody wanna get rich right away
Everybody wanna be king for a day
Everybody wanna get rich right away
If you wanna be rich and you wanna be wealthy
I believe I’d rather be poor and healthy
If you wanna be rich and you wanna be wealthy
I believe I’d rather be poor and healthy

Songwriters: Mac Rebennack (aka Dr John)

It sometimes takes a while to realize that health really does matter more than wealth. But we aren’t really told that when we are young, and if we were, we’d ignore it, being young. Youth is never wasted, but time gets precious and choices change as you find your career in life.

With us approaching warp speed information overload, we are fed more of the pixel pudding that says keeping up with the Jones’ matters more than ever. But, as the man said, what you own ends up owning you. That’s the truth. These days, if you don’t achieve the Instagram ideal, or become rich or famous and show that off, then you aren’t living a full life. More than ever our social currency is all about aspiring to some artificial ideal. We hear stories of people crushed and despondent when they can never achieve it. It’s a strange time to live in with everyone holding a mirror up to total artifice and wanting the mirage they see, and like every mirage can never reach. The day someone took TV and put it into telephones and then put those telephones into our hands, changed the game for a shift to a material world the like of which the world has never seen. And it’s hard on modern health. According to the American Institute for Stress, 62% of Americans are stressed about money, second highest after “future of our nation” at 63%. A national health report from Everyday Health states, “Our research shows that chronic stress is a national epidemic for all genders and ages, particularly those who are 25 to 35 years old. To unpack this problem is a matter partly of mental health and partly of physical health. Here’s the hard truth: The causes and solutions to chronic stress are a complex mixture of socioeconomic, environmental, genetic, physical, and spiritual factors.” The authors go on to say: “As a country, we are struggling to address many mental health issues that, it turns out, are closely tied to chronic stress; there are not enough specialists or practicing healthcare professionals to address them. Is it any wonder people turn to social media to feel less isolated — only to find that social media itself can turn into a source of amped up, toxic stress?”

Stress is an epidemic around the world that seems to grow worse every year.

In that gazing pool we call mobile phones, we can very easily lose sight of what matters because we are encouraged to think other things, like I need a Maybach or a million-dollar house or some other thing. As the lady said, you can’t take it with you. When we lose what we care about for ourselves, which is ourselves, we can get really lost and lose everything important to us along the way. The pursuit of money as we all know isn’t everything. The world shows us that it is, more than ever before, and we are shown we are so much lesser than those who care about “having it all”. In my estimation, I’d like to have my 20-year-old liver back or my figure that has become abundant due to the many “rubber chicken dinners” I’ve had. I’d prefer not to do business in the common fashion, which seems to be a drinking culture capped by dessert with a room of people who don’t actually want to be there at all, everyone looking at their phones, finding their excuses to leave early. So-called “showing face” is important in business we are taught, but is it really true? Is it actually good for us if we chaff at the situation we’re in? Or is it only a face, a mask, worn to satisfy the crowd of Jones’ you’re trying to impress, behind which you feel like you’re faking it?

These are questions of personal health when it comes down to it, meaning, what doesn’t satisfy our souls and nourishes us finally kills us from the inside out.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to be with certain people a lot, they bring me energy and joy. And there are many causes I care about. And I care passionately about my clients and the health of my business. But you have to remember, which I did after three hip surgeries, that life is precious and feeling healthy matters more than being “at everything” and pushing health to the side for the sake of a never-ending expectations hanging overhead with no end in sight and no real reward. Money isn’t everything. Having been partner with a national recruiting firm, and now operating my own (much better) international firm, I’ve made myself, my mind, and my body, healthier by finding a better way to work, for me. Smooth processes, choosing who I want to work with, choosing the things I support because they one hundred percent align with my values. These things make my heart happy and bring me peace of mind no matter what else is happening around me. Enduring chronic high stress and late nights at something you don’t find joy in can only lead to health problems, binge eating, anxiety, insomnia, depression, self doubt and worse. This is no way to happiness or health.

Your inner joy matters. Is it that voice inside that whispers to us as we drive to a job we really despise but we tell ourselves we need it and it’s too scary to do something else? Is it what keeps us awake at night when we feel bothered and we can’t really understand why we toss and turn? Is it that feeling of “there’s something missing” when we realize money never did or could bring happiness? The answer to all of that is an emphatic YES.

Do what you love. Not for the love of money. For the love of you.

When I made the choice to go out on my own, I felt a weight lift from me, that feeling you get when you know inside that you made the right choice. No end of people looked at me with wide eyes when I sold my partner shares and started my own executive and professional recruiting firm. “Are you sure you want to do that?” and its variations daily showered down, most difficult coming from those whose opinions I valued most. I had others try to tell me where I fit in the scheme of things (mostly somewhere down the ladder from where they felt they belonged). It was like people wanted to see me either not try or try and fail. And neither of those things happened. I felt healthier inside, looked happier outside, and I felt like I could really feel my powers and passions again.

Do what you love. Not for the love of money. Do it for the health of your heart and soul. What seems to happen, really, in the end, is when you follow your dreams, the richest of the riches come your way, and the money follows, too.

Do what’s good for you.

Dr’s orders.

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